- Situation: Reading about trans* men's experiences for character research.
- Internet: Trans* men are much less likely to experience the violence and mockery experienced by trans* women.
- Me: Yeah, totally. This is true.
- Internet: Trans* men are not oppressed.
- Me: *Tableflip*
1. Avoid confrontational statements, tone, and posture.
2. Be as patient as you can.
3. Condemn the behavior, not the person. Calling someone a(n) *ist/phobe will cause them to become defensive and shut down. Tell them what they said/did was/is *ist/phobic.
4. If you tell them something that they said/did was/is *ist/phobic and they disagree, ask them not to repeat the statement/action out of courtesy to you. That it makes you, a fellow person, uncomfortable is reason enough for them not to say/do it in your presence.
5. It is not your job to educate anyone unless you are a teacher or spokesperson. That said, it may be a good idea to point them to some resources they can use to educate themselves.
6. Avoid blanket statements such as “___ people suck.”
7. If they start to derail the conversation with valid but different concerns, tell them that such concerns are not what the current conversation is about. Explain that the conversation they are trying to have is one for another time and/or place.
8. Tell them when they’ve hit a nerve, a trigger, or gone too far. If a situation becomes toxic, you have every right to get out of it.
1. If someone points out your privilege, pay attention. This is not a personal attack, it is a learning opportunity.
2. If someone tells you something you said/did was *ist/phobic, apologize. Ask for clarification if necessary, but take it to heart.
3. If someone tells you something said/did was *ist/phobic and you disagree, yield for now. Agree not to repeat the statement/action in their presence because, *ist/phobic or not, it makes them uncomfortable. If your relationship with the person allows for it, you can ask them to explain their reasoning to you.
4. If someone tells you it isn’t their responsibility to educate you, back off. Do your own research later.
5. Don’t butt into a conversation that doesn’t involve you. (If you are asked for your opinion, that’s different, and it’s okay to give it.) Don’t derail.
6. Avoid defensive statements such as “we’re not all like that.”
7. Respect minority/underprivileged spaces. Do not enter unless invited, and then behave as a good guest.
8. If someone tells you that you’ve hit a nerve, a trigger, or gone too far, back off immediately.
1. The Golden Rule: treat others the way you’d want to be treated. Basically, don’t be a jerk.
2. When it does not endanger you to do so, give people the benefit of the doubt.
3. Everybody has some good in them. Everybody.
4. People have bad days. The person who cut you off in traffic may not have meant to; the cashier that looks unhappy might be feeling under the weather; someone who snaps at you might be dealing with other problems. If you can, brush it off.
5. You have bad days. Try your best, but be forgiving of yourself, too.
I just can’t fucking do it. I’ve had to take a massive break from my online life because school + anxiety = Hell, and just when I think I might be able to come back to the things I used to enjoy… I see the most disheartening things. I’m sure that’s at least partially my fault; I have a tendency to look in the wrong places. But still, this shit shouldn’t be here in the first place.
I just… Augh. I need to find a way to articulate these feelings.
((So! As another VERY random note, because… well, don’t we all love pokemon? And come on, yeah, the stupid friend safari, man, the safaaaari….
Where was I? Right. Random note; Friend codes.
We should def trade some friend codes, guys! Feel free to add me, and drop in your friend codes too? I, Daffu, would love more peeps on my list! I’m not sure if Thal’ll edit her code in here later but yeah.
Friend me! And stuff! And gimme your codes! Hurray!))
I caught three! Threeeeee! A female relicanth, a male clawitzer, and a female corsola.
I was just working on my pokedex. Chain fishing. Whoa.